Glimpses of God – Planting Seeds

He was always there.

In the laughter and innocence of a child, in the seeds planted in the fertile soil of a young heart.

He was always there offering a subtle sense of peace, soothing and calming when the world seemed out of control.

She didn’t know His name, but that day, running in the grassy fields of rural Michigan with her neighbor, Lisa, she learned of Him for the first time, and the encounter would never fade from her mind.

“I hate my mother!” 6-year-old Lynda told her with a petulant stomp. Her friend’s shocked and concerned reaction stopped her in her tracks.

“Oh, Lynda. You should never say you hate your mother! God says to love your mother and father. It’s one of the Ten Commandments.”

“Honor your father and mother.” This is the first commandment with a promise: If you honor your father and mother, “things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on the earth.” Ephesians 6:2-3

Lynda had never heard of the Ten Commandments. It reminded her of the classroom rules the teacher wrote on the chalkboard at school. Mrs. Brown would read them out loud in a stern voice, tapping each one with her pointer that could easily be used to whack your back legs if you broke a rule, like getting out of your seat. But, this rule sounded OK because it was about love. She hoped this God didn’t have a stern voice like Mrs. Brown, but a gentle voice, like Mrs. Smith. She loved Mrs. Smith and her little flower garden she’d planted by the playground that she let you help with at recess and after school. But, she trusted her best friend and knew she would never lie to her.

She didn’t really hate her mother. She loved her mom and missed her dad terribly while he was gone in the war. She watched the TV newsman, Walter Cronkite, every night to try to catch a glimpse of her daddy over in Vietnam. She was just mad because her brothers were allowed to be in the Cub Scouts, but her mom said no to her joining the Brownies even though she was finally old enough.

“It’s just not fair!” Lynda pouted, picking a long blade of grass and wrapping it around her finger as they continued walking out to the old barn behind Lisa’s grandpa’s farm. They loved to swing on the rope and land in the hay, even though they were warned it was dangerous.

“Did she say why?” her friend prodded gently.

Sighing, Lynda mumbled that her mom couldn’t afford it with her dad gone to war. She had to work to pay the bills and buy groceries. She hated admitting it because she sensed that Lisa’s family didn’t have to worry about things like food and bills and paying for the Brownies and Cub Scouts.

Wise beyond her six years, Lisa tried encouraging her.

“You know she’s doing the best she can. She loves you and God loves you,” she said, smiling that radiant smile that drew everyone to her. Lynda loved the way the wind blew her long, blonde curls around her face. She’d always wanted her hair long and curly like that. Her own hair was short and mousy brown, which made her think of Ramona the Pest, who longed to have curls, too, and got into trouble for pulling a lock of the girl’s hair who sat in front of her just to see it bounce back.

Lisa reached out and took hold of Lynda’s hand and pulled her along the well-worn path they’d made through the grasses, Black-Eyed Susans, and Sweet Peas.

“Let’s go pick some wildflowers for your mom and my grandma!”

Lynda looked around at the wide open field she knew drew the mice that had relay races across her attic at night, which made her and her little brother, David, giggle and her mother squeal in terror. She laughed at the thought and decided that this God Lisa believed in was a pretty good artist to have painted such a beautiful place for them to play.

She tucked that thought away as she nodded and skipped off with her friend, and like the wildflowers, Lisa had planted the seeds of God’s love in her heart.

Filling the Void

Years speed by, spinning in my mind.

All the moments, hundreds of thousands of them, flashing in a kaleidoscope of memories.

The day I first saw you, a missed opportunity, and the night we met, realizing our paths were destined to cross.

Looking back on those days, like pieces on a chessboard, I see how God moved for a greater purpose.

It wasn’t just a love story; our chance meeting was part of His plan.

It certainly wasn’t a fairytale. It wasn’t without mistakes, outside of what He intended. But, he uses all things for good, I’ve learned.

Through all the detours, the wrong turns, the breakdowns, He was always there, guiding us, bringing us back to Him.

Molding us for His glory. Through the lean years, through the cold distance of hurt, and the closeness of shared grief, we were one.

And then, you met Him face to face. You joined our precious girl in eternity.

Now I fill the empty void.

With what?

With pictures in my mind, with regrets in my heart, and the promise of Heaven.

The wind as it blows Dad’s windmill you painted in Texas colors. The leaves in the trees of a garden planted in Mandy’s and now your memory. The tinkle of the windchimes you always loved.

The void is vast and too quiet, but in the stillness, I feel His presence and yours, guiding me on this new journey, the one I never imagined I would travel alone.

Our story began with God. It will end with Him. My story continues and I can only hope that what I do to fill the void is pleasing to Him and honors you, my love.

Above all, it points others to a life beyond what we can ever imagine or hope for.

I see you all around me. I see you in the empty recliner, in the tools worn from your craft, in the home we asked God to bless.

I see you in the eyes of our children, in the laughter of our grandkids. I feel you in the darkest moments of my grieving.

And, I look forward, Heavenward, for the day you welcome me home.

God’s Amazing Timing

Hearts_Trust-in-the-Lord

I don’t know why God always surprises me with his timing. It’s pretty perfect, isn’t it? The waiting can get downright unbearable at times, but then, out of nowhere, the sun peeks out from behind the clouds and shines a bright light on His plan, showing me what’s in store for opening weekend. My heart leaps and then I laugh. I see now that it took all this time of waiting and trusting for His wonderful plan to be revealed.

Ironically, now that the deleted scenes litter the cutting room floor, the trusting and waiting begins all over again…to get to the next level of where he wants to take me. That trust thing always seems to get in the way, though doesn’t it? Pesky things, trust and patience. I want the big picture to blow up the silver screen of my life…NOW! But, just as he reveals the official trailer of what is coming soon, I must learn patience to let Him roll out the red carpet of His masterpiece.

“I am building it. They will come,” He whispers. “I know, Lord,” I reply in giddy anticipation of His name in lights as He uses the work of my hands. “Your timing is perfect.”

Proverbs 3:5 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.”

The first part is hard. The second part, no problem.

I will trust in that. Will you?

Driving the Speed Limit

Drive 60 pic I was driving to work the other day – I drive  70 miles one way – and I noted a milestone  on my speedometer. It rolled to 130,000  miles. Seven thousand miles since  November. I’ve gotten good at the drive.  God has taught me patience. Over and over.  After four months of driving through small  East Texas towns on my way to Tyler, I call  them “worship miles.” That’s how I get  through the frustrations of the commute. I  make it my time with God. My time to  worship him and let him speak to me  through the music.

Well, I took a picture of that 130,000 mile  rollover – safely from a parking lot – and  posted it to Facebook, of course. But on my  way again, Satan sure tested all the things I’d learned about patience and showing Christ to others. I started to get annoyed at the slow drivers ahead of me on a two-lane no passing zone and the fast drivers behind me riding my bumper. I yelled aloud to myself, “I just want to drive 60!!!” That’s the speed limit most of the way until you get into the towns and have to remember to slow down to 55, then 50, then 45, then 35 and remember when it’s 60 and when its 70 so you don’t get pulled over….again! Apparently “I was worshipping God” does not get you out of a ticket for going 70 in the 55. Then there’s the bipolar gas station at the edge of one town whose gas price changes will give you whiplash. It’s $3.15 one morning, $3.09 that afternoon, and $3.29 the very next morning. What is up with that?????

Well, my plea to just be able to go the speed limit got me thinking about what speed God wants me to go. He certainly doesn’t want me to speed and get another ticket. He also doesn’t want me to ride someone’s bumper, impatiently nudging them to get out of the way.  But, does he want me to “just go the speed limit” in my spiritual life?

I don’t think so.

I think there are times of urgency when he wants me speed down the road and make a difference for the kingdom. Shift into high gear and race down the open road. He tells us in Hebrews 12:1-2 to run with endurance.

“Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.…”

He also wants me to slow down sometimes to notice the people around me. To really see the ones he loves who are hurting. He wants me to see them how he sees them, whether they are driving 40 in a 60 or tapping my tailgate to get around me in order to drive 80 in the same 60 mph stretch of highway.

What has their day been like? What are they going through? What are they racing toward or slowly dreading?

If I just see them as I see them, as one of my commuter frustrations, how can I be a blessing or show Christ to them? Am I worshipping God at the same time I’m shaking my fist at their driving habits? If I am, I fear I am just going through the motions of the Christian life, letting the world crowd in instead applying His word to my everyday circumstances. I want them to be able to unmistakenly see Christ in me…to live in such a way that they will come to know Christ in a personal way. I want to shine his light brighter than my high beams on that narrow stretch of tree-lined country road that leads me home.

Lord, I pray that you will be my GPS, my cruise control, my speedometer and that you would post angels on my gas pedal. I pray that my actions match the Jesus fish on my car and speak your Word to my fellow commuters along life’s highway.