Glimpses of God – Planting Seeds

He was always there.

In the laughter and innocence of a child, in the seeds planted in the fertile soil of a young heart.

He was always there offering a subtle sense of peace, soothing and calming when the world seemed out of control.

She didn’t know His name, but that day, running in the grassy fields of rural Michigan with her neighbor, Lisa, she learned of Him for the first time, and the encounter would never fade from her mind.

“I hate my mother!” 6-year-old Lynda told her with a petulant stomp. Her friend’s shocked and concerned reaction stopped her in her tracks.

“Oh, Lynda. You should never say you hate your mother! God says to love your mother and father. It’s one of the Ten Commandments.”

“Honor your father and mother.” This is the first commandment with a promise: If you honor your father and mother, “things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on the earth.” Ephesians 6:2-3

Lynda had never heard of the Ten Commandments. It reminded her of the classroom rules the teacher wrote on the chalkboard at school. Mrs. Brown would read them out loud in a stern voice, tapping each one with her pointer that could easily be used to whack your back legs if you broke a rule, like getting out of your seat. But, this rule sounded OK because it was about love. She hoped this God didn’t have a stern voice like Mrs. Brown, but a gentle voice, like Mrs. Smith. She loved Mrs. Smith and her little flower garden she’d planted by the playground that she let you help with at recess and after school. But, she trusted her best friend and knew she would never lie to her.

She didn’t really hate her mother. She loved her mom and missed her dad terribly while he was gone in the war. She watched the TV newsman, Walter Cronkite, every night to try to catch a glimpse of her daddy over in Vietnam. She was just mad because her brothers were allowed to be in the Cub Scouts, but her mom said no to her joining the Brownies even though she was finally old enough.

“It’s just not fair!” Lynda pouted, picking a long blade of grass and wrapping it around her finger as they continued walking out to the old barn behind Lisa’s grandpa’s farm. They loved to swing on the rope and land in the hay, even though they were warned it was dangerous.

“Did she say why?” her friend prodded gently.

Sighing, Lynda mumbled that her mom couldn’t afford it with her dad gone to war. She had to work to pay the bills and buy groceries. She hated admitting it because she sensed that Lisa’s family didn’t have to worry about things like food and bills and paying for the Brownies and Cub Scouts.

Wise beyond her six years, Lisa tried encouraging her.

“You know she’s doing the best she can. She loves you and God loves you,” she said, smiling that radiant smile that drew everyone to her. Lynda loved the way the wind blew her long, blonde curls around her face. She’d always wanted her hair long and curly like that. Her own hair was short and mousy brown, which made her think of Ramona the Pest, who longed to have curls, too, and got into trouble for pulling a lock of the girl’s hair who sat in front of her just to see it bounce back.

Lisa reached out and took hold of Lynda’s hand and pulled her along the well-worn path they’d made through the grasses, Black-Eyed Susans, and Sweet Peas.

“Let’s go pick some wildflowers for your mom and my grandma!”

Lynda looked around at the wide open field she knew drew the mice that had relay races across her attic at night, which made her and her little brother, David, giggle and her mother squeal in terror. She laughed at the thought and decided that this God Lisa believed in was a pretty good artist to have painted such a beautiful place for them to play.

She tucked that thought away as she nodded and skipped off with her friend, and like the wildflowers, Lisa had planted the seeds of God’s love in her heart.

Filling the Void

Years speed by, spinning in my mind.

All the moments, hundreds of thousands of them, flashing in a kaleidoscope of memories.

The day I first saw you, a missed opportunity, and the night we met, realizing our paths were destined to cross.

Looking back on those days, like pieces on a chessboard, I see how God moved for a greater purpose.

It wasn’t just a love story; our chance meeting was part of His plan.

It certainly wasn’t a fairytale. It wasn’t without mistakes, outside of what He intended. But, he uses all things for good, I’ve learned.

Through all the detours, the wrong turns, the breakdowns, He was always there, guiding us, bringing us back to Him.

Molding us for His glory. Through the lean years, through the cold distance of hurt, and the closeness of shared grief, we were one.

And then, you met Him face to face. You joined our precious girl in eternity.

Now I fill the empty void.

With what?

With pictures in my mind, with regrets in my heart, and the promise of Heaven.

The wind as it blows Dad’s windmill you painted in Texas colors. The leaves in the trees of a garden planted in Mandy’s and now your memory. The tinkle of the windchimes you always loved.

The void is vast and too quiet, but in the stillness, I feel His presence and yours, guiding me on this new journey, the one I never imagined I would travel alone.

Our story began with God. It will end with Him. My story continues and I can only hope that what I do to fill the void is pleasing to Him and honors you, my love.

Above all, it points others to a life beyond what we can ever imagine or hope for.

I see you all around me. I see you in the empty recliner, in the tools worn from your craft, in the home we asked God to bless.

I see you in the eyes of our children, in the laughter of our grandkids. I feel you in the darkest moments of my grieving.

And, I look forward, Heavenward, for the day you welcome me home.

One Foot in Front of the Other

My husband looked at me with his comforting, no nonsense way and said, “Keep your chin up. One foot in front of the other.”

Standing outside the ER, I was gripped with fear and fighting back tears as they loaded him in the ambulance to take him to the hospital. They thought it was Covid-19. In that September of 2020, the pandemic was at its height of wreaking havoc on the world and I couldn’t help thinking of the families with loved ones hospitalized with the virus and not being able to be with them, or worse, having to say a final goodbye through a Zoom call. But, after his tests came back, Covid was ruled out, and we learned it was “only” pneumonia. He only stayed one night. The doc wanted to keep him for observation, but in typical Bryan form, he said, “Nope. I’m goin’ to the house. I’ve got things to do.”

They released him with antibiotics to take at home and relieved, we laughed about it over the next few days. He had trees to plant and projects to finish. We spent a lot of time at Lowe’s and Home Depot. I was happy to tag along, enjoying his DIY spirit, talking and laughing with a shared purpose: we were planting a memorial garden for our daughter, Mandy, whom we lost a few months after her 30th birthday. The one-year anniversary of her passing was coming up soon, and we were going to plant her ashes in the garden we would fill with colorful Crepe Myrtles, Dogwoods, Magnolias and shade-giving Red Oaks. Planting day arrived and the kids and grand-kids all helped. It was such a special day. Bryan was not feeling well, but he supervised and was able to lead us in our family memorial service for our precious girl. Our daughter Kristin handed each of us wildflower-seeded note cards to plant personal messages to Mandy in her garden.

Bryan’s said, “I hate goodbyes, so I’ll just say, “See ya later, Leigh Roy. I love you. Dad.”

Two weeks later, God called Bryan home to Heaven. Friday night pizza night. I’d come home late after work with his favorite pie to an uncharacteristically quiet house. No TV on, the bedroom door closed. I thought he was taking a nap. Not wanting wake him up if he was getting some much-needed rest, I watched a show and ate my pizza. Two episodes later, I got a bad feeling. Something wasn’t right. I clicked off the TV and quietly opened the door, and felt a stillness I’d never imagined before. No fan running in the corner. Just silence. Quietly whispering his name with no response, my heart quickened, my mind rebutting the panic setting in. Reaching out to gently rub his arm so I wouldn’t startle him, I knew immediately.

He was gone.

The rest of the night plays over and over in my mind as if I’d stepped into a black-and-white silent movie reel. The days tick by, a collection of interminable minutes, memories, anguish, loneliness, anger, and little-by-little, what feels like healing – or at least a sense that God is walking me through the darkness that threatens to envelop me at any given moment. I hear both of them speaking to my heart as I wake up with my hand on his empty pillow, as I fill one coffee cup and sip while I rock in the rustic log chairs that were going to be our favorite spot in our twilight years.

I will never leave you.

One foot in front of the other.

And that’s how I move forward. Holding onto the promise of God for dear life and knowing that Bryan is not only part of my past. He is part of my future. He and Mandy are with God and we will all be together again someday.

Mandy and Bryan

Sharing the story with my friend, Laci, she told me she learned the phrase ‘one foot in front of the other’ in Swahili while on a mission trip to Africa. We agreed it should be a slogan on a shirt. A few days later, I found a t-shirt on my desk printed with that phrase in Swahili (Mbele Kwa Mbele) and English along with the verse Philippians 3:14:

“I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.”

No matter what road you’re on today, press on. Chin up. One foot in front of the other!

Moving forward with my beautiful family

Snapshots

God gave me you 32 years ago today.

I didn’t know then that it was a loan, but I’m grateful for every day of the 30 years we had with you and every memory I cherish. The times you cried when I rocked you and sang Jesus Loves Me, how you and your Papaw were inseparable for the first four years of your life, how you and Dad could have inside jokes with just a look, all the times you hoodwinked your brother out of his toys, proudly claimed him as your best friend, and fiercely loved and defended him even after he grew a foot taller than you. How you loved sharing a room with your baby sister until you were 18, french braiding her hair because I could never figure out that skill, teaching her all the sister things, and cheering her on at every softball game.

I remember how you bravely learned to give yourself insulin shots by age 5, the many times God answered our prayers to save your life, and the way you embraced going away to diabetic camp for three weeks at age 6. I remember all the craft kits, the glitter, feather boa, paints, your photography, and your unique style. You always swam against the current and didn’t give it a second thought.

I remember all the times you made me laugh until I peed a little, how you loved your sister-in-law who shared your love of all things Halloween and pumpkin spice, Lisa Frank, movie quotes, and ’90s alt-rock. I treasure the way you showered your precious niece and nephew with special Aunt Mandy love.

I remember everyone praying over you and God once again bringing a miracle. You taught us all grace and strength, even when you were stubborn and giving us your Grumpy Cat face, or the stare and blink until we gave in. So many memories, moments, and snapshots that were not enough. Blow out your candles today and hug your Dad for us. I’m sure you’ll find some sprinkle cupcakes to share.

What a celebration we’ll have someday.

“He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” – Revelation 21:4

Mandy Stringer – 2nd Heavenly birthday July, 14 2021

Shine Like a Boss

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You’re at work right now and the tedious, mundane tasks of your job are really making the day drag on, aren’t they? Can the clock tick ANY slower? We all want that dream job where we can use the talents that God gave us and get paid for it, don’t we? Well, think of it this way: generating invoices, answering customer emails and phone calls or cleaning up after the lunch crowd is just as important as wowing the board room with your superb advertising campaign, designing the company Website and graphics or catering a huge conference without a hitch. You may not get to use your spiritual gifts or God-given talent as your day job, but you can incorporate those gifts into your job, no matter what it is! You can also make a huge difference in everything you do with your attitude. Make your own little world your mission field. So staple those reports with a smile, send your next customer on her way with “Have a blessed day,” or hum along to your favorite Christian song. Share your faith during a coffee break. Listen to a coworker when they’re hurting. Pay the tab at lunch. The brilliant  light of Christ, when it shines within you and pours out all around you, is your gift to share with the world.

“Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; if service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching; the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who leads, with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness.” 
Romans 12:6-8 ESV  

“You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.” 
Matthew 5:14-16 ESV

Get Up and Walk

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Are you content to stay in your safety bubble and not venture out of your comfort zone? Before Jesus healed the lame man in John 5, he asked him if he WANTED to get well. The man said to Jesus, “I can’t.” He said he had no one to put him in the healing waters. Sometimes, it’s just easier to stay right where we are and wallow in our self-pity and excuses. There’s responsibility and work to be done when we are well and it’s hard. Has God opened doors for you, laid out a plan for you, taken away an obstacle that has been holding you back? When he heals us, either physically or spiritually, we have to “get up, take our mat and walk.”

 

John 5: 6-8
6 When Jesus saw him and knew he had been ill for a long time, he asked him,“Would you like to get well?” 7 “I can’t, sir,” the sick man said, “for I have no one to put me into the pool when the water bubbles up. Someone else always gets there ahead of me.” 8 Jesus told him, “Stand up, pick up your mat, and walk!”

God is Close

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You know how you can be in a room with people you love and you know they are hurting, but you don’t know how to help them? Just being there is a comfort. But, getting up close, putting an arm around them, giving them a hug to let them know you care can dry tears and encourage without words.

God is with us in our joys and our sorrows, through the uphill battles and as we cross the finish line in victory. He is there!

 

Psalm 34-18 says, “The Lord is CLOSE to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” He is not just there. He is close!

Embrace the Chaos

 

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Photo: depressioncookies

Is the sheer chaos of raising your kids making you a bit crazy?

 

Sometimes as moms, we pray for the days of peace and quiet when our kids are out on their own or at least in school for the day! Well, with an empty nest, the house is a bit too quiet for me right now. I find myself missing the loud, rough-housing antics that once drove me to find a quiet space on the back porch. So, as a mom who’s been there and one looking to the seasoned moms before me to help me settle in this new roost, I can say this with confidence: while they are little and underfoot and the muddy footprints, piles of laundry and scattered toys make you want to run and hide, embrace the chaos!

Love them like crazy every minute they let you before they squirm out of your hugs to go play or find their wings and drive away.

 

Proverbs 22:6

Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it.

God’s Amazing Timing

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I don’t know why God always surprises me with his timing. It’s pretty perfect, isn’t it? The waiting can get downright unbearable at times, but then, out of nowhere, the sun peeks out from behind the clouds and shines a bright light on His plan, showing me what’s in store for opening weekend. My heart leaps and then I laugh. I see now that it took all this time of waiting and trusting for His wonderful plan to be revealed.

Ironically, now that the deleted scenes litter the cutting room floor, the trusting and waiting begins all over again…to get to the next level of where he wants to take me. That trust thing always seems to get in the way, though doesn’t it? Pesky things, trust and patience. I want the big picture to blow up the silver screen of my life…NOW! But, just as he reveals the official trailer of what is coming soon, I must learn patience to let Him roll out the red carpet of His masterpiece.

“I am building it. They will come,” He whispers. “I know, Lord,” I reply in giddy anticipation of His name in lights as He uses the work of my hands. “Your timing is perfect.”

Proverbs 3:5 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.”

The first part is hard. The second part, no problem.

I will trust in that. Will you?

Flooded Engine

Image: lawncare.org

My husband gave my youngest daughter, Kristin, a lesson recently in starting the weed eater after it flooded. Apparently, when you flood the engine, there’s too much gas in the carburetor and it messes up the fuel/air mixture – so it won’t start. The remedy is to let it sit and drain for a bit. Makes sense.

Well, you can apply that same remedy when your brain is flooded and you’re feeling overwhelmed by everything you’re juggling – the stresses, the deadlines and workload of your day. Try being still and letting all the day’s “stuff” drain out of your mind and instead be filled with thoughts of God’s beauty, and mercy, and His power. You’ll be recharged and be able to rev up and get started!

 

“I pray that you will begin to understand how incredibly great his power is to help those who believe him.” ~ Ephesians 1:19