Years speed by, spinning in my mind.

All the moments, hundreds of thousands of them, flashing in a kaleidoscope of memories.

The day I first saw you, a missed opportunity, and the night we met, realizing our paths were destined to cross.

Looking back on those days, like pieces on a chessboard, I see how God moved for a greater purpose.

It wasn’t just a love story; our chance meeting was part of His plan.

It certainly wasn’t a fairytale. It wasn’t without mistakes, outside of what He intended. But, he uses all things for good, I’ve learned.

Through all the detours, the wrong turns, the breakdowns, He was always there, guiding us, bringing us back to Him.

Molding us for His glory. Through the lean years, through the cold distance of hurt, and the closeness of shared grief, we were one.

And then, you met Him face to face. You joined our precious girl in eternity.

Now I fill the empty void.

With what?

With pictures in my mind, with regrets in my heart, and the promise of Heaven.

The wind as it blows Dad’s windmill you painted in Texas colors. The leaves in the trees of a garden planted in Mandy’s and now your memory. The tinkle of the windchimes you always loved.

The void is vast and too quiet, but in the stillness, I feel His presence and yours, guiding me on this new journey, the one I never imagined I would travel alone.

Our story began with God. It will end with Him. My story continues and I can only hope that what I do to fill the void is pleasing to Him and honors you, my love.

Above all, it points others to a life beyond what we can ever imagine or hope for.

I see you all around me. I see you in the empty recliner, in the tools worn from your craft, in the home we asked God to bless.

I see you in the eyes of our children, in the laughter of our grandkids. I feel you in the darkest moments of my grieving.

And, I look forward, Heavenward, for the day you welcome me home.